But in any case, I have decided it is time to put an end to this inhumane and cruel policy of separating children from their families once and for all! Therefore, I will no longer be trapping and consuming lone children - but will expand my practice to include entire families.ĭo not be fooled, I am by no means kowtowing to the insufferable “snowflakes” who love to find offense in anything they don’t understand - even family recipes that have been passed down through generations! I came to this decision completely on my own. It wasn’t until I started doing it that everyone suddenly had a problem! You tell me if that sounds fair.
Eating children is a policy that has been practiced by many witches for MANY years without a single complaint (aside from some of the more fussy children). Now, I for one feel a bit blindsided by this sudden public outcry. The resounding argument seems to be that this practice “tears families apart.” It has been brought to my attention that a majority of the public has voiced disapproval with my policy of luring children to my home in the woods, fattening them up to a respectable size, and then baking them in my oven for dinner.
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